Yesterday my husband and I traveled up to Charlottesville. It was a beautiful, sunny, and overall pleasant weather day. Spring is beginning to creep in, finally, and I've decided that springtime in Charlottesville is almost unrivaled. As we were driving by the Rotunda on our way to lunch, I began reminiscing to myself about my days tooling around the campus on spring days just like this one. I would go sit in one of the gardens off of the lawn and do my work, and close my eyes and actually stop to smell the roses, as they say. It was extremely calming - no matter how stressed I was about an upcoming exam, or how I was going to get that paper written, or how I was going to be able to concentrate on studying and then go to spring football practice (which I was very much looking forward to more so than studying). I just loved being at UVA, especially in the spring months for all of the beauty that was around me on that campus. Fall brought its own different excitement and memories, but the springtime weather and adventures certainly made it my favorite time of the year.
We enjoyed a pleasant lunch at one of my favorite spots on The Corner - in reality, all the restaurants on The Corner are some of my favorites. As are most of the restaurants in the downtown mall. I'm a little biased towards anything Charlottesville. But Doug and I shared some good conversations and food at this one particular restaurant yesterday. It was such a nice day we decided to check out some of the shops nearby before heading to the baseball game - the real reason we were there for the day.
Naturally, the one store I wanted to go into was Mincer's. See, I'm of the opinion that one can never have enough orange and blue in their wardrobe. Those colors really just compliment each other so perfectly. Doug, on the other hand, complains about my love for all things orange and blue. As I wandered throughout the store, I kept being drawn to all of the cute outfits they had on display for babies and little kids. I kept thinking to myself about how I would have gotten them all for Ellison, no matter how much Doug complained. She would have looked good in orange and blue. Sadness immediately crept over me. Then, I looked up and saw a young woman in there pushing a stroller with an infant around the store. I felt my breath get sucked out of me, and the usual joy I feel while walking through my "mecca," was zapped. I told Doug it was time to go, and I left without buying anything (a first).
We headed to the baseball game and got settled into our seats and watched as the teams warmed up. I told Doug I was actually somewhat excited to watch the game, and my Hoos, in person. Davenport Field is a really nice venue - it's obvious the UVA investors have been generous in donating their money to support our program. I found it interesting in looking through the program that we have more players from out of state, and all over the country, than from in-state. I was taking it all in, remembering my quest to start enjoying things for both myself and Ellison. As I sat in my seat throughout the game, I watched several women carry their infant daughters through the stands. It always seems ironic that when something is on your mind, you seem to constantly be reminded of it as you go about your business. The babies were adorable. Again, some sadness crept in. I turned to Doug and commented that this would have been the perfect game to bring Ellison to - the weather was amazing, it wasn't too crowded, and my Hoos were winning by a landslide - the perfect trifecta of enjoyment.
Despite the fact that my team was winning handedly, I told Doug we could not leave before the end of the game. I was there to experience not only a first for me, but a first for Ellison too. We weren't going to miss a thing. I wanted to be able to check seeing my first full UVA baseball game off of my mental list of "living for Ellison." Hopefully, the first of many mental check marks...
As we were driving home from the game, without the gooey brownie I wanted from Arch's because they happened to be closed for spring break (figures...the rare time I'm up there for the day, my usual pleasure is not available), I kept thinking that it had been such a beautiful day. I missed those beautiful Charlottesville days during the spring, and I missed being able to share it with my beautiful daughter. I realized that even if I travel all around and enjoy more beautiful days down the road, nothing will ever be as beautiful as what I carry in my heart now - the memory of Ellison. It's just like the Ralph Waldo Emerson quote I have written down: "Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." I will always be sad wishing that she could be with us to experience all of the beautiful things, like all of those other babies I saw yesterday, but nothing in my mind is as beautiful as she is and I carry that with me in my heart now.
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