3rd Anniversary

Today marks my husband and I's third Anniversary.  It's hard to believe it has been three years since we said our "I do's."  A lot has happened in those three years.  Celebrating tonight at dinner was a little bittersweet.  On one hand, I'm happy to celebrate my love for my husband and our marriage, but on the other hand I'm still feeling overwhelming sadness for the fact that our present to each other was lost on February 1st. 

As we enjoyed a nice dinner out, I told him that I was sorry that I did not get him a card and that I couldn't give him Ellison, but that I could give him all of the love I was capable of giving.  We talked about how so much has gone down in our three years of marriage and that we could at least say that we have faced many things that most couples do not survive and have come out stronger in our union.  It has been the best of times and the worst of times this past year, and at the end of the day I'm glad we have each other.  There have been bad days, but as my sister-in-law reminded me in an email, the "good" days have outnumbered the bad.  And that is the definition of a good marriage - that the "good" days by far outnumber the "bad."  Even when there are bad days, as we've recently had in dealing with the loss of our precious daughter, his love has pulled me through.  So we should celebrate our anniversary to honor our love for each other and be thankful for the things that we do have.  Ellison would be proud of us, just as we are proud of us, and at the end of the day, that is all that matters.

In the words of Johnny Cash, for my dear husband, I walk the line.  I will continue to walk the line until the day I am no longer on this earth.  I walk it for him, for Ellison, and for me.  Three years in, and many more to come.  Perhaps we can even focus on future hopes and dreams together, all while remembering our precious baby girl in all that we do.

"I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line

You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line"