Mountain Air

Doug and I decided to head up to Wintergreen for the weekend.  I figured the mountain air may do us some good.  Not to mention, sometimes it's nice to just get away from home and constant reminders.  The mountain air can help clear one's head, just as the beach air can (but unfortunately it's not quite beach season). 

The weather was perfect for hiking today.  Our dogs sure were happy.  Samantha had a big smile on her face as she found every mud puddle to play in, and Sabre is finally in his element on the mountain trail.  He may not be the brightest dog, but he sure can scale a mountain like it is nothing.  Luckily we took a long trail that paralleled a waterfall part of the way so the dogs were able to clean up and cool off.  The sound of the rushing water also helped clear my head some.

I've decided that no matter where I go or what I do, I'll never be able to outrun the sadness.  Only time will lessen the impact the sadness has on my every day activities.  Sometimes though I do wish I could just get a "timeout" from things.  As Doug and I were enjoying a nice dinner at one of the local breweries, I told him that sometimes I feel like it's just too much.  Having to face a tragedy like this really does just wear you down and I sometimes wonder if I can keep on fakin' it through. 

I'd like to not have to think about it all the time or be reminded of it constantly.  I thought I had a brief moment of this when I woke up and enjoyed a cup of coffee on the deck.  My mind was at peace and I was just enjoying the crisp, cool air.  A small bird landed right in front of me, and just stared at me as it chirped away.  I tried chirping back and it seemed to look at me like I was crazy (which I may be) but it continued to just stay there, not afraid of me.  When I got up to go get my Ipad to take a picture, it flew off.  But I decided to take a picture of the mountains in the background with the sun shining.  I went back inside and realized that there were these beautiful color streaks right in the middle of my mountain picture.  I figured it was Ellie telling me "Good morning."

So no matter how much I'd just like a break from things, time is just not on my side right now.  But at least I can enjoy the mountain air and dream of a future time when my mind may not be so burdened.  Of course, I'll never stop thinking of my little angel, but perhaps I'll be able to enjoy some "me time"  It might be on the horizon...