Two Months

Technically Ellie would have been two months old today if she had made it to her scheduled arrival.  I tried not to think about it most of the day but it's not possible to completely avoid it.  I think about what she would be doing right and what our lives would have been like with a two month old.  I think about how she would be smiling and taking part in "tummy time" and how we'd have our little routines worked out with her by now.  And then I look down at my wrist and see my pink bracelet that says "Mommy of an Angel."  The emotions are overwhelming and unavoidable.

My "Aunt" Sandy sent me an email the other day with a song in it that she had heard that she thought I would like.  I think the song about says it all for me today.  I wish so much that I could just call Ellie back to me and then she'd be here.  It's just one of the many crappy realities when you're the Mommy of an angel and you can't hold them and enjoy the little milestones...

Here are the song lyrics in my head right now - it's called "Sing You Back To Me" by Trisha Yearwood.

I'd like to write a song, a sweet and simple thing
And if I do it right, it'd the only one I'd sing
'Cause it would bring me everything I need
A song that I could sing you back to me

Sing you back, bring you back
A miracle of page and pen
You'd hear it and be here again
And always and forever there would be
A song that I could sing you back to me

There must be a million words and all I have to do
Is lay my heart upon those rare and magic few
Why can't it be as easy as it seems?
A song that I could sing you back to me

Sing you back, bring you back
A miracle of page and pen
You'd hear it and be here again
And always and forever there would be
A song that I could sing you back, bring you back
A song that I could sing you back to me