Due Date

Today - Sunday, March 23rd - was supposed to have been Ellison's actual due date.  I came into this world on a Sunday as did Doug.  It was only fitting that Ellison should have too.  According to folklore those born on Sundays are supposed to be lucky.  Apparently this did not turn out to be the case for Doug nor I.  We've been unlucky in so many ways.  I guess we were lucky in the sense that we got to spend 8 months with Ellie, but unlucky in the sense that we will never get to spend any more time with her. 

I read on a website that those born on Sundays are ruled by the Sun.  Because of this, the child will never be satisfied with anything dull or ordinary in their lives and they will always be like a ray of sunshine with their aura of lightness and brightness. The associated colors are Orange, Gold, Yellow and the bright sunny colours.  I'd like to think this describes Doug and I to some extent (especially my love of the color orange), but it does make me sad to think that we won't be able to see this in Ellison.  Perhaps this is why when I think of her, the song "You are My Sunshine" pops into my head.  She was supposed to be our ray of sunshine bringing us happiness and joy.  Instead, missing her has brought us sadness and lost hopes and dreams. 

My very dear Grandfather passed away on March 27, 2013.  The one year anniversary of his passing is coming up in a few days.  I had been hoping that Ellison would be here to bring my Gran some joy at a time when we will no doubt be sad.  But instead of us celebrating life with Ellison here, my grandfather will be celebrating time with her.   It does help ease my pain some on this day to know that he is probably up there holding her for me.  And hopefully my childhood dogs are with them with Ginger being the ever present "herder" following them wherever they go and with Cookie probably sharing space in Bill's lap with Ellie on the other side.

Keeping with my A.A. Milne kick from yesterday, here's another quote that is fitting for this day:
"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”